The Family Stone

4 out of 7

Anyone who has ever gone through the awkward task of meeting their significant other’s parents will spend the first hour of The Family Stone in complete awkwardness, which will then give way to half an hour of anger and finally 10 minutes of confusion (and in this reviewer’s case, bitter cynicism).

The Family Stone (2005) follows the arrival of Meredith Morton (Sarah Jessica Parker) with the put together son Everett Stone (Dermot Mulroney) to the Stone family’s three day Christmas celebration. The “hilarity” that ensues is exclusively at the expense of Meredith while her future mother-in-law and Stone matriarch, Sybil Stone (Diane Keaton), and future (and bitter) sister-in-law, Amy Stone (Rachel McAdams), work systematically to embarrass and discourage Meredith at every turn. What, however, gives this sort of behavior its true tartness is the obvious closeness between the family, including Thad Stone’s (Tyrone Giordano) gay life partner, Patrick Thomas (Brian J. White). Thus Meredith is regularly put down in one of the happiest, family-oriented homes in cinema; the contrast is irritating.

Simultaneous to the family togetherness is a deep, unspoken secret about the return of Sybil’s cancer, which, as the viewer discovers in a later scene, has already claimed her right breast. In fact, it is only an ambiguous scene between Kelly Stone (Craig T. Nelson), Stone patriarch, and his other straight son, Ben Stone (Luke Wilson) that allows even the slightest understanding of the trauma the family has come through and, apparently, must go through once again.

The holiday progresses with more troubles for Meredith, while her boyfriend (who incidentally wants his grandmother’s wedding ring to propose to her) stands around and intervenes only at the worst times, slowly allowing his family to perceive his future bride as an idiosyncratic, uptight bigot. Soon Meredith sends for her sister, Julie Morton (Claire Danes), for support. Julie’s cool arrival and quick fit into the family only serves to amplify Meredith’s outcast status, which sets the scene nicely for Christmas Eve dinner, and the turn in the film.

Over this dinner, Julie begins to question Thad and Patrick about their adoption process. An innocent question of race is asked, given the couple’s bi-racial status (Patrick is African-American). The conversation prompts Sybil to comment that she wished all her sons were gay. This outrageous proclamation confuses Meredith, who questions the claim on the grounds that being gay makes life more difficult and wonders what parent would desire such discomfort for their child. Her big snafu comes when she stammers out the word “normal,” causing Kelly to shout-down the conversation and Meredith (again) leaves the room crying. Thus ends the awkwardness.

To begin the anger is the completion of the above scene, which includes three ridiculous events. First, Sybil tells her gay, deaf (I’ve yet to mention that, I know) son, who is in a bi-racial relationship that he is “more normal than any asshole at the table.” Even if this assertion is viewed as a completely ideological claim, there is absolutely no reason to lose focus of reality. This liberally-charged, didactic proclamation dips into absurdity when one considers the character it is directed toward. Thad, while a lot of nice things as a character, is not normal and there is no reason to go about changing the definition of normal to allow him in. What the movie reaffirms in this comment is the myth that “normal” is a virtue (and its antonym: “abnormal” is a vice). Rather than allow an odd character to be secure and loving even in his oddness, Thomas Bezucha, writer and director of this monstrosity, decides to try to expand normal even for those things that are obviously abnormal because he feels those excluded things are done an injustice by their exclusion. Exclusion is only an issue if it creates a gap the individual must overcome. If, however and as in this case, the exclusion is done as a means of identifying, no harm is done.

Second, in Meredith’s attempt to escape, she crashes the car a few times into shrubbery and the like, until Ben comes to her rescue and, in true Christmas Eve spirit, takes her drinking. The absurdity, though, comes in the mounting romance between Meredith and the Bohemian Ben.

Thirdly, as Meredith tempts her fidelity to Everett with his brother Ben, Everett tempts himself with Meredith’s sister Julie (insert eye roll here).

Christmas morning arrives with Meredith in Ben’s bed, Sybil giving Everett the wedding ring he much desired (and had previously been denied) and Everett promptly placing it (and getting it stuck on) Julie’s hand. Meredith gives a meaningful gift of an old picture of Sybil pregnant with Amy to every family member and promptly declares that she won’t marry Everett, which Everett then, and nobly, responds to by saying “I wasn’t going to propose.” Meredith again flees the room in tears and Julie sneaks off to purchase a bus ticket, feeling bad for the drama she has caused. As she calls, the ring falls off her hand. Once Julie is discovered missing, Everett chases her down, while Meredith snuggles in bed with Ben. The movie ends during Christmas a year later with Sybil dead and all the siblings sorted out romantically. The closing shot is on the gift Meredith gave a year ago, thus amplifying the absence.

The film suffers from a number of problems, the least of which is not a choppy plot that never shows what’s most important (Sybil) until the end. The viewer would be helped greatly by this knowledge (as would Meredith!). Beyond this lack of info, the film has some internal consistency problems, chiefly with the perception of the family. Such a loving, all-inclusive clan should not hide the trials of their past from those new to the group. It’s fairly certain that both Thad’s deafness and sexual orientation were adjustments to be made (indeed, this is proven – at least in part – by everyone signing as they talk), but no mention is made. Sybil’s illness took its toll on the family, but no one discusses this. Fact is, such a perfect family could only be disrupted by an outsider, because outsiders necessitate explanations of the past, which may not be perfect. The Family Stone, led by Sybil, is afraid to let any outsider a look into who they are and how they became that way. As such, the provide no opportunity for Meredith to live through their struggles via their stories, if not for the chance to understand and, even better, grow as an individual. Though, ultimately, maybe this is intentional and the director wants to make a critique of liberal America. The setting is, after all, a small town with a small, liberal college at which Kelly teaches. There are many shots of the college, so its importance, while ambiguous, is justified by the film. It may be that the film is saying that liberal America has lost its heart (to cancer?) as it no longer values the art of story-telling as a means to change and now dresses itself up as perfect (though its not) and asks for outsiders to assimilate and model what they see and becomes outraged when this doesn’t occur.

Finally, the film suffers greatly from Dermot Mulroney’s, who is the biggest waste of a cut jaw-line, acting. His character varies between impartial to impotent to enraged. He makes it known that something is missing from his life and his attraction to Julie comes because she can go to a totem pole in Alaska and cry, while Meredith, upon meeting Everett, persuades him from a Tibetan monastery to drinks and dinner. While the problem is obvious, the viewer must still be skeptical of Everett’s attraction to Julie, as it might be more of an expression for his need for personal growth that draws him to her more than anything that has to do with her and her needs. Once that “hole in my heart” is filled, Everett could just as easily wake up and realize he isn’t with the person he should be. Even if one holds to the idea that Meredith stunts his inner quest, it only serves to critique Everett for losing sight of what is important to him. There must be some personal responsibility here and Meredith isn’t to blame for pursuing a relationship with him, when he wants to pursue something else. If anything, one can only assume that Everett lacks the character to do the right thing and the whole messy Christmas is his doing. If this is assumed, one must be careful to not read everything working out as a form of redemption. Coincidence is not redemption.

Ensemble casts are tough to script and direct and who gets how much screen time is always in question (and to think Claire Danes gets top billing over Diane Keaton! Even Sarah Jessica Parker for that matter) and The Family Stone might just be one or two children too large for any real, meaningful story.